Moth Balls
by TenshiOnna
Summary: Riku discovers unsettling news about his favorite pair of sweat pants. This leads to a most... interesting adventure. Poor Riku.


Yay! So this idea came from a dream that I had last night. Its not what it was in my dream, but the main idea is. And thats the point, correct? Correct. Anyways, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. I do not claim to. Don't sue.

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Riku grinned widely and pulled out his favorite pair of bright red sweat pants. He held them out at arms length and sighed happily. Today was going to be a wonderful day. Nothing but sitting around, playing video games and eating potato chips. And ice cream. Gods how he loved Rocky Road ice cream. Riku licked his lips and slipped the loose fitting pants over his hips and released the waist band, relishing the feel of them snapping against his skin. An old friends warm embrace. Riku sighed happily and ran a hand through his hair absently as he headed for the kitchen, rapt on grabbing aforementioned potato chips before his younger siblings were aware of his intent.

Riku hopped down the stairs in his sock clad feet and skidded across the well worn wood floors of the den room, skipping across the large Persian rug and through the door way into the large kitchen/dining room. He beamed happily at his mother, who sat hunched over the morning newspaper, sipping on a cup of coffee. "Mornin' mom."

His mother looked up briefly and smiled tiredly at him before returning to her paper. "Good morning Riku. Your up early."

"Yep. I have some plans for today that I wanted to start on early." Riku grinned and reached on top of the refrigerator, grabbing the bag of Lay's potato chips.

His mom turned in her chair as she heard the tell tale crinkle of the bag. "Riku... how bout you eat some real breakfast? And... honey..." A smile splayed across her weary face. "Those pants... are getting a bit old don't you think?"

"Huh? I've had them for only a year. What do you mean, old?" Riku turned and looked at the woman sitting at the table, frowning as he noticed her chortling happily to herself. "What's so funny?" He placed a hand on his hip and scowled at her. Really, this wasn't exactly how he had planned this little escapade.

"Oh, honey! You're..." His moms face turned cherry red as he faced her. Riku glared. "You're pants... they... have holes in them."

Riku scoffed. "What?" Looking down at his pants, he gasped as he noticed the small flesh colored hole in the crotch of his pants. "What!" He flung the bag of chips to the counter and reached down to inspect the thumb print sized abomination. "How..."

"You have a couple on the back too."

Riku's mouth dropped open. This... was... too much. There was no way this was going to ruin his day off. Looking up at his mom, he furrowed his brow and frowned. "Mom..."

"No honey, I don't have any money for you." She turned away from him and began to sip her coffee again, once more immersed in her paper.

Riku scowled. "Not even, like... ten dollars?"

An exasperated sigh. "No Riku. Not even ten dollars. I thought you had saved up?"

"Yeah! To buy the parts for my cars engine." Riku felt a Sora pout form on his lips. This was not at _all_ how he had planned this day.

His mom sighed and turned back around. "Honey... there are some things more important than that old... car." Riku glared, knowing full well she barely caught herself from saying 'piece of junk'. "How'd you get all those holes anyways dear?"

"I don't know!" He was becoming frantic. If he didn't hurry, his brothers would be awake soon, and then he wouldn't have a chance in the world of getting the Xbox.

"Did you put those moth balls in your closet like I told you to?"

Riku frowned and tried to think. "No." He finally said.

"Riku, honey, I love you. But sometimes... do what we tell you to? You'd better go check the rest of your clothes. Make sure those demons didn't get into anything else."

Riku's jaw dropped open. "You mean bugs ate my favorite pants?" This was _un-bull-ee-vable_!

His mom sighed again, obviously getting annoyed with her eldest son's intolerance to the ruination of his day. "Yes dear. Now if they ate a lot of your clothes, I'll give you some money for a trip to the mall."

Riku groaned and turned on his heel, stomping back up the stairs, hands empty of his beloved potato chips and ice cream. Ripping open his door, Riku scowled in at his room. He stomped over to his closet and ripped open the door, glaring at his clothes. "You bastards better not have ate anything else." His hands reached in and grabbed handfuls of hangars and threw them onto his bed. Soon, a massive pile of clothing sat on his bed, and Riku set about sorting through them.

After a half hour of looking and half way through the pile, he decided that the damn moths had in fact, eaten a large amount of every article of clothing he owned. A scream bubbled up in his chest, and surged up his throat, emerging from his lips as a soft whimper. "This... sucks..." He stated dully, before heading back down the stairs.

"_Mooooom_."

"Yes dear?"

"They ate it all!"

Riku's mom looked at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. "Everything?"

Riku nodded shortly, crossing his arms over his chest, refusing to give into the pout that threatened to emerge.

"Oh my god, Riku." His mom dumped her bowl of milk into the sink and gave him an exasperated look. "Riku, what am I going to _do_ with you?"

"Throw me out and claim me worthless?"

"Don't joke like that."

"Fine."

"And stop pouting."

Riku blinked at her a few times before sucking in his lower lip, which was indeed, despite his best efforts, sticking out. Sora would've been proud.

His mom sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead with a hand, resting her other against the counter. She looked old, Riku decided. But then again, with three boys and two girls, who wouldn't look old? "Oh Riku... Riku, Riku, Riku."

"What?"

"I have... twenty dollars. That's all I have for you."

"Mom, that won't even buy me a decent pair of pants."

"Well, then use your own money."

"But _mom - _"

"Don't 'but mom' me young man. You're the one who didn't heed my advice. Now, if you use your own money," She held up a finger to quiet his whine, "Using your own money, maybe you'll take better care of your things? Hmm?"

Riku crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the tile flooring. He hated parents logic sometimes. Nodding solemnly, he sighed and looked back up at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Now how bad are your clothes eaten?"

"Most have three or four holes about this big," He held up his fingers in the shape of a circle, about an inch or more wide, "but a couple got away with just a hole or two. But those that did, their in the crotch and really big." Riku's eyebrows drew down and he crossed his arms over his chest, clenching his hands into fists and barely quelling his urge to growl.

His mom smiled sadly. "Sounds like they got into your stuff the worst. Alright, here's that twenty that I promised you. Maybe Sora has some pants and a shirt you can borrow while you go shopping." His mom reached into her purse, which was sitting on the counter, and held a twenty out to him.

Riku thanked her quietly and grabbed the phone, dialing Sora's number as he turned and headed back for the den room. As the phone rang, he flopped down onto the couch, grimacing as his mother scolded him for 'being too rough on her furniture'.

"Hello?" A sleepy Sora answered.

"Hey! Sora? Its me Riku."

A large yawn was audible and then a short hacking cough. "Riku?" Sora sounded really out of it. "Its eight o' clock in the morning."

"Eight thirty to be exact."

When Sora didn't say anything for a minute, Riku could picture the younger boy pouting at the phone. "Whatever. What did you call for."

Riku sighed and mumbled his problem into the phone.

"Huh? Speak up."

"You're getting old."

"And you're being weird. So what?"

Riku chuckled. "I was calling to ask if... maybe you had some pants I could borrow?"

"Huh? Pants?"

"_Yes Sora! Pants!_" Riku winced as his voice rose.

"Geez! Calm down! What are you on the rag or something? God damn." Sora began to mumble and sounded as if the phone had been taken away from his face.

"Sorry... Sora?"

"Yeah, sorry bout that. My mom came in to see who was on the phone."

"Oh."

"Anyways, pants. Yeah, you can come over and see if they'll fit. I don't know. Why do you need pants?"

Riku looked around the small living room. "Moths ate my clothes."

"Moths? Dude... don't you put moth balls in your drawers?"

Riku was really starting to get irritated. He could hear the faint whispers of his brothers stirring in their sleep, waking from their slumber. "No Sora. I didn't, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Geez. You need some Midol, and bad."

"Shut up Sora. I'm going to be over at your house in a few minutes. Better be awake when I get there."

Sora grunted once and the line went dead.

Riku stood and replaced the phone on the hook, before jumping up the stairs to put on a shirt. Ripping open a drawer of his night stand, Riku hoped and prayed that the damn bugs hadn't gotten in their too. Removing an over sized short sleeved tee shirt, he pulled it over his head. Riku ran to the bathroom, brushed his teeth really quickly and did a once over of himself. The holes in his pants were way too obvious. One sat right next to his crotch and allowed for a lovely shot of his yellow smiley boxers, another sat lower on his left pant leg, a quarter sized hole exposing his pale flesh. Riku growled and turn around, turning his head as best he could to see his back side. The only hole he could see on the back, was conveniently placed right on his butt cheek. One black eye of the smiley on his rear peered out, looking to all the world like a peeping tom. Riku bit his lip and turned back around, running a hand through his hair, smoothing it out as best he could.

Riku ran from the house, yelling over his shoulder that he was going to Sora's and dashed into his car. The 1969 Mach 1 Mustang gleamed in the morning sun as he pulled it out of the driveway. The black paint glinted and shined, and the red flames at the front looked to all the world like real fire as the suns rays played with the different tones in the paint. Riku grinned and revved his engine a bit before taking off down the road. The morning smelled wonderful, the grass was green, and a few people were out and about, walking their dogs or mowing their lawns in the mornings reprieve from the spring heat. Riku's window was down, and his fingers strummed along the side panel as he turned this way and that through the suburban neighborhood streets.

He stopped in front of a small off white house. The red trim was faded and familiar, bringing back fond memories. He parked his car and stepped out, grinning as he heard a loud bark from the back yard. "Hey Fudo!" He shouted to the Doberman pinscher that was currently whining at him through the chain link fence of the backyard. Skipping up the steps, he knocked on the red front door and glanced around the neighborhood. His lucky stars were looking out for him today, as no one was out to see his disheveled, moth eaten appearance.

The door opened slowly and a tired, run down looking Sora peered out. "Oh, hey Riku. C'mon in."

Riku opened the screen door and slid in past Sora as the brunette stepped out of his way. "You look like shit Sora."

"I don't feel well." The boy pouted at Riku and then took in his appearance. "You look like... er..."

"Moths have eaten my clothes? Duh." Riku ran down the stairs of the split level house and pushed open the door to his friends bedroom. The light blue walls were covered in various posters of bands and Riku grinned as he noticed a small piece of one wall was dedicated to the pictures of Sora and his friends. Riku appeared in many of the pictures, grinning out from over Sora's shoulder. Riku plopped down onto Sora's bed as the smaller boy fumbled through his drawers.

"Here, try these on." Sora handed Riku a pair of faded blue jeans and then took a seat on the bed as Riku stood and stripped off his red sweat pants. "So... why are you so angry today?"

Riku glanced up as he shimmied into the slightly too short pants. "I had my day all planned out, ya know, play some shoot 'em ups. Maybe play a bit of Fable. Geez Sora, what size pants do you wear?"

Sora frowned and watched with slight interest as Riku growled in frustration and tried to button the pants. "Obviously a smaller size than you, fatty."

Riku gasped and looked up at the brunette who was now smirking at him, the blue eyes dancing with mirth from under too long brown bangs. Riku dropped his attempt to zip up the pants and placed his hands on his hips. "Well excuse me for actually having a bit of muscle. Gah." With one last attempt at buttoning the pants, he dropped the pants and began to riffle through the drawers.

"Riku? Ya know... if those didn't fit, I'm thinking that your at a loss. Cause uh... those were the biggest ones I had."

Riku turned and gaped at the boy. "You don't have anything else? No... sweat pants or anything?"

"Nope."

Riku sucked in his lower lip and stifled the shuddering sigh that threatened to betray his feelings of hopelessness.

"Maybe... Waka? Or Tidus might have something."

"Their both gone for that damn blitz ball tournament." Riku crossed his arms over his chest and scowled out the small window behind Sora's bed. The ground well was darkened by the shadow of the house. A soft whine drifted from the outside and Riku crawled over the bed to peek up through the window at Fudo. The dog's tongue lolled out of its mouth as it saw him and its body began to shake as it wagged its tail furiously. Riku giggled.

"Silly dog." Sora came to sit next to Riku.

Riku looked over at Sora and smiled at him. "Thanks for the help anyways Sora."

Sora looked over at the older boy and smiled softly. "Sure thing Riku. What are friends for right? Since your plans were destroyed though, what are you going to do now?"

Riku huffed and sat down, his back resting against the wall, and crossed his legs. He absently played with a string that was coming out of the leg hole of his boxers. "I dunno. I guess I can still do what I wanted to. But it just makes me so mad! I can't believe that there are things that eat your clothes! What a rip! Its..." Riku grumbled unhappily.

"So what are you going to do about that?"

"I'm going to go buy new clothes."

"Oh yeah? Your parents funding this?"

Riku snorted and shook his head unhappily. "Nope. Well... my mom gave me twenty."

Sora nodded and patted Riku's leg softly. "Well... I dunno what to tell you bud."

Riku groaned and threw his head back, bumping it roughly on the wall. "Ow..." He frowned as Sora laughed and fell onto his side. Riku grinned and poked the boys side softly. "I'm gonna head off. You can go back to sleep and all that." With that, he stood and pulled his sweat pants back on.

Sora smiled at Riku and nodded, snuggling against his pillow with a happy sigh. "I can see your butt."

Riku rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Go to sleep Sora. Feel better bud. Talk to you later. See you in school tomorrow."

Sora yawned and nodded, smiling at his best friend. "Sure thing Riku. Good luck."

Riku ran up the stairs and out the door, shutting it softly as he left. Turning on his heel, he walked over to the fence and leaned over, whistling softly. The Doberman pinscher ran over, its body shaking wildly as it wagged its tail furiously. "Hey Fudo. Sora not playing with you lately? Poor thing. He's been kinda depressed as late though ya know?" Riku chuckled as the dog licked his face. He patted it on its head and gave the dog a kiss on the nose before heading over to his car.

Driving home, he tried to think of someone he knew that he could ask to borrow clothes from. As he drove along, he smiled as he noticed a familiar swaggering girl. Pulling over, he rolled down his passenger window and whistled. "Hey sexy. What are you doing out here at this hour?"

Kairi turned and looked at him with large blue eyes. "Riku!" She shrieked and jumped up and down. "What are you doing?"

"I just left Sora's house."

"I heard he's sick."

"Yeah, poor guy. Having a rough time as late. Hey, what are you doing up at this hour?"

"I had to go to the grocery to grab some milk for mom." Kairi giggled cutely, lifting a milk jog in the air, and dug her sandaled toe into the ground.

A grin slipped over Riku's face. "Want a ride?"

Kairi squealed again and jumped into the passenger seat. "Thanks Riku!"

"Not a problem. I have a weak spot for cute girls." He winked and chuckled as she blushed and giggled again.

"What were you doing at Sora's house?"

Riku's mouth opened and closed a few times as he pulled away from the curb of the sidewalk. "I - uh, I -," Riku cleared his throat and scratched his thigh absent mindedly. "I was seeing if he had some pants I could borrow."

Kairi tilted her head to the side and blinked at him cutely. "Why? What's wrong with your pants? I mean, you have more pants than I have shoes!"

"Yeah..." Riku trailed off and stared out the windshield. "Yeah... well... I had a little run in with some moths."

"Moths? Oh Riku! Didn't you put moth - "

"No! I didn't!" Wincing, he apologized for interrupting her and shouting.

"It's alright. But... if you need to borrow some pants, maybe you could fit into some of my brothers old pants."

Riku looked at her with a hopeful glint in his eyes. "Really? You'd - he'd let me do that?"

Kairi giggled. "Of course you goof. He's away at college. And plus, he told me he liked you, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

A blush crept over Riku's cheeks. "He likes me huh?"

"Yeah, but not like that Riku!" Kairi slapped his arm playfully. "He's got a boyfriend right now."

Riku choked and tried to laugh. "N-no! I didn't... I mean of course. Sheesh."

Kairi giggled. "And plus, he thinks that you and Sora are cute together."

"Sora and- Oh no no no! You've got it all wrong! We're just friends. And plus, I like girls."

"Uh huh." Riku blushed as the girl winked at him and then turned to look out the window.

A couple minutes later, they pulled up to Kairi's house. A large two story house with a big bay window over looking the street from the living room. The dark green lining off set the light green faux wood siding. Riku got out of the car and ran around, opening the door for Kairi as the girl collected her bag of groceries.

"Aw, Riku, you're so sweet." She grinned up at him and cradled the bag in her arms as she rose gracefully from the car. Riku smiled at her and followed the girl up the walkway to her over sized, dark wood, double front door. As they entered, the smell of cooking breakfast assailed Riku's nose and his stomach growled angrily at him. Damn those moths! He could be sitting at home, playing Serious Sam and eating his potato chips and ice cream if they hadn't decided to take a large bite out of his wardrobe.

"Hey honey! Did you get that milk I asked for? Oh, Riku! Why hello darling. Its always a pleasure to see you here." Kairi's mother smiled kindly at Riku, her hands holding a small dish towel. Riku smiled and blushed as the woman's eyes scanned his clothing. "What happened to your pants dear? Do you need someone to sew those up for you? I could do it in a jiff if you'd like."

Riku gaped at the woman. "You mean you can sew these holes up?" He pointed down discreetly to his pants and the holes that marred them.

"Yes dear. Of course... I don't have my sewing kit here right now. Steven, Kairi's brother, you remember him right? He took it with him last weekend. Well, next weekend he'll be home again and then I shall be glad to patch those up." The woman smiled kindly and turned back to the kitchen.

"Mom, Riku's clothes were eaten by moths. So we're gonna go and look through Stevens things to see if he has any pants Riku can wear while he goes shopping." Kairi kissed her mothers cheek softly and then ran up the winding staircase to the second floor, Riku close behind her.

"Oh, Riku dear," Riku groaned quietly, here it comes, "you didn't put moth balls with your clothing?"

"No..." He scowled at Kairi's back as the girl giggled and bounced up the last few stairs. They came to the top of the stairs and Riku looked around at the small livingroom that Kairi and her brother had all to themselves. He wished he had a luxury like it. As Kairi beckoned for him to follow, he entered a large bedroom off to the left. The walls were bare, a few spots that were a bit darker than the rest of the painted areas marked where posters and pictures had once adorned them. Riku sighed and sat down on the bare bed in the middle of the room and watched as Kairi pulled out a large box marked 'clothing' on the side. As she ripped it open, Riku let his gaze wander the room. "This place is like twice the size of my room."

Kairi giggled and threw a pair of really baggy pants to Riku. "Yeah, I wish I had this room. Its like this house was built with two master bedrooms, but I got stuck with the old office room." She sat down on the ground and watched Riku with large, expectant eyes.

"What?" It was kinda creepy the look she was giving him... he wasn't sure he liked it.

"Well, silly, get changed, lets see if they fit."

"Y-you're going to watch me change?"

"You let Sora watch." She pouted cutely.

"Sora's my best friend! And a guy!" Riku shook his head and stood up from the bed. "Fine." He shoved his pants down his legs and stepped into the old jeans. As he pulled them up his body, he knew there was going to be a problem. Yanking them up till them came just under his chest, he raised an eyebrow towards Kairi, who was blushing and grinning just a bit _too_ much. "Uh, I think we're going to have a problem."

Kairi tilted her head to the side and blinked innocently. "Problem?" She mimicked. "Oh, well... Steven is pretty tall..." Her grin faded slightly as she seemed to think of a way to solve the 'problem'. "Well... I don't know. Those are pants from his freshman year in highschool."

Riku's jaw dropped to the floor. The pants were built to be large, and even though the extended crotch was resting firmly against his groin, the legs were still past his feet. Riku's mouth worked a few times, making him look like a gasping fish. Kairi giggled and stood up shrugging her shoulders.

"I never said they'd fit. I said we could try them." She smiled and turned away from Riku as he started to step out of the pants.

"Ugh... Well... do you have anything? Maybe... maybe I could fit into something of yours."

"Riku!" Kairi turned around as he finished pulling his sweats back up to his hips. "Are you saying that," She giggled absurdly loud, "That you'll wear girls clothes?"

Riku blushed and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at the girl. "Yeah! So what? I just need to take a quick trip to the mall. I mean, other guys wear girls pants... I won't wear them long! Please Kairi! We have school tomorrow, and I have to go to swim practice in the morning. I won't have any time to go to store before hand. This is my last... my last option. Please..." Riku's green eyes glimmered and he tried his best to put on a Sora pout. Which worked quite well.

"Aw, Riku!" Kairi bounded forward and took the boy into her arms squeezing him quickly before backing away, grinning broadly. "Okay, c'mon. Lets go see what I have." She giggled and they headed towards her room.

Riku bit his lip and really felt like crying as he followed abjectly behind the small girl. As they entered Kairi's room, Riku rubbed his forehead and placed a hand on his hip. Kairi began to rifle through her closet.

"Mom! Where's my pants?"

"Their all in the laundry dear!"

"Okay! Thanks..." Kairi turned to Riku and the look on her face was of complete dread. "Um, Riku?" She held out her hands, a small skirt held between her fingers.

Riku's eyes grew wide. Oh... hell... No! "No Kairi. I - I... No." He shook his head and stepped back from the blue and green checkered abhorrence.

"Well then Riku, I don't know what to tell you. I guess you'll just have to go to school with the holes. Hopefully Ansem will be in a good and forgiving mood." She shrugged nonchalantly and turned back around to replace the skirt on its hangar.

"Uh, Kairi... Maybe..." He stared at her as she turned, the skirt still in her hands. His eyes flicked to the clothing and his lips turned down at the corners. "Maybe... I mean, its Sunday right? No ones going to be at the mall this early..."

Kairi's eyes shone brightly as he spoke. A grin found its way onto her face and she giggled giddily. "Here! I'll turn around, you put it on." She threw the skirt at him and turned away, covering her face with her hands.

The skirt was small, and Riku scowled at it as he held it out at arms legnth.

"Does it fit?"

"Hold your horses, I haven't even taken off my sweats yet." Riku growled and slipped out of his comfortable, mutilated sweat pants for the umpteenth time that day. He looked at the skirt and twisted it in his hands a few times. "Um, Kairi? Where's the front?"

Kairi giggled madly and turned around, bouncing happily over to Riku. She took the skirt and held it out to him so that the front faced him. "Here." She twisted it around again and then bent over, holding it open so that he could step into it.

Riku cautiously stepped into the skirt. He gulped and held onto Kairi's back as he stepped his other foot inside the abomination.

"Oh, Riku, you have such smooth legs! You shave?"

Riku blushed brightly and bent over to pick up the skirt and pull it up slowly, avoiding Kairi's gaze as the girl backed away from him, a bit _too_ pleased with herself. "Yeah, its for swimming." He grimaced as he pulled the skirt all the way up till it rested a bit too well on his thin hips. He looked up at Kairi with wide, embarrassed eyes. "Um... So?"

Kairi shrieked and clapped her hands excitedly, spinning around in a circle as she did her own version of the happy dance. "Riku! You're so pretty! Of course, now we have to fix the problem of your boxers sticking out." She took a step forward and reached out a hand towards Riku's legs.

"No! No, no, no!" He stepped back, the backs of his thighs bumping against Kairi's bed. "I'm only wearing this so I don't get thrown out for indecent exposure."

"Riku... Um... I think that you should probably try to at least... look like a girl then. Cause... people don't really like a guy in a skirt as much as they don't like flashers."

Riku paled and looked around the room. Everything girly suddenly seemed to stand out ten times more than the rest of the mundane objects in the room. The vanity table with its tons of makeup products, the rack of shoes, the posters of famous actors (most were bare chested). Riku swallowed and frowned. What had he gotten himself into _this_ time? Looking back at Kairi, he frowned and shook his head. "Kairi... I don't know. Maybe this is a bad idea."

"Don't be silly. You can so pull this off. And besides, you need the clothes. The school officials wouldn't be too happy if you were walking around in pants like those sweats," she pointed to the sweat pants piled up on the floor, "they'd have a freak out."

Riku sighed and sat down on the bed. He ran a shaking hand through his hair absent mindedly and nibbled on his lower lip. "Alright fine. But no make up."

Kairi grinned, an evil glint in her eye and advanced on Riku.

An hour later, Riku stumbled from the front door, cursing loudly as he tried in vain to pull the skirt down. The thing kept riding up and more leg than he wanted to flash was shown to the gods and everyone. He growled unhappily and stomped to his car, thankful that he had talked Kairi into letting him at least wear his sneakers. Besides, he probably couldn't have fit his feet into the sandals she had kept asking him to wear.

Sliding into his seat, he groaned and tilted his rearview mirror to look at himself. His hair was slicked back into a high ponytail, a couple of barrettes cutely placed strategically to give him a certain air of girlishness. Riku frowned and puffed at the bangs that Kairi had painstakingly constructed to hang perfectly around his face. No makeup had touched his skin, and Riku thanked his stars. Kairi had been adamant that the pinkest of her selection of eyeshadow would've been perfect with his skin tone. Readjusting the mirror, Riku turned his key and grinned as the engine roared to life.

As he took off down the street, Riku played idly with a small strap that hung from his shirt. Multiple straps criss-crossed his front. Riku thought it made him look like he was into S& M, but Kairi had been adamant that it would make people think less about why his chest was so flat.

_Of course my chest is flat_, he had shot back angrily, _I'm a guy_!

_Well, we could always stuff a bra for you_, Kairi had been starting to take this a little too far.

_No! We won't even go there! This is only for one trip, and a short one at that!_

Riku grimaced as he remembered the pink bra Kairi had held out for him to wear. What was with the girl and pink? Luckily he had escaped un-pink-a-fied. As Riku pulled up to a stop light, a whistle from a car next to him caught his attention and he looked over. Oh great...

Two men, older men, much older, were oogling him and making cat calls. Riku just rolled his eyes faced forward.

"Hey baby! That's a sweet car. You're boyfriends?" The driver revved his engine.

Riku smirked and answered back with a revving of his own engine. The loud roar dulled the mens calls into the background and Riku watched the light intently. Those bastard's think they can flirt with me? We'll show 'em, won't we baby? Riku grinned evilly and patted his steering wheel fondly. When the light turned green, he shot off from the line and shifted his gears quickly as the engine roared and the wheels soared. Adrenaline pumped through his veins at a furious pace, and as he slid under a yellow light, leaving the two perverts behind, Riku whooped and pulled into the mall parking lot.

Rounding to the front of Dillards, he took a parking space relatively close to the door. Today was his most unlucky, and yet most lucky day. Few cars speckled the parking lot and Riku dropped his feet to the ground with ease. Taking a deep breath, he pulled himself from the car and slammed his door shut, his hands gripped at a small purse that Kairi had so kindly lent him. After all, since he didn't have his pants and pockets, how else was he going to carry his wallet?

Walking through the parking lot was easy work, and entering the store wasn't really as bad as his mind kept telling him it would be. The aisles of the store were practically empty, and Riku quickly slipped into the young mens section, glad to be amongst more manly things again.

Idly he ran his fingers along a stack of jeans and picked out a couple of dark blue jeans in his size. Riku stuck out his tongue as he remembered what Sora had said. Fatty? Pah. The jeans were on sale and so he decided that a few more would be good. Rounding to the other stacks of jeans, he quickly pulled out a few different pairs and then ran to the shirts. This was an in and out thing. His mind kept feeding him the lines 'hurry or die, hurry or die' and Riku took it to heart. He flipped through the various items, pulling a few nice button up shirts, along with a few form fitting tee shirts.

After procuring the items, he raced to the nearest check out station and stood waiting for someone to come by and notice him. The skirt kept riding up and he was busily pushing it down when a clerk stepped behind the counter.

"Hi ma'am, how may I help you?" Riku glanced up and blinked as he saw Cloud, a person he knew through acquaintances but not formally, standing there. The boy looked bored and like he really could care less about helping Riku out. Riku frowned and placed his arm load of clothing down on the counter. As Cloud's dark blue eyes scanned the items, his blonde eyebrows rose high on his forehead. "Did... you find everything alright?" Cloud took a glance up at Riku as he nodded.

"Yeah, alright." Riku really didn't want to talk, or make eye contact. Just in case the other teen recognized him. His back was ridged as Cloud slowly pulled the articles of clothing apart and scanning them with care. Riku's fingers strummed impatiently on the counter top. When he sighed heavily, Cloud looked up from the pair of jeans he had been fighting with to scan. Riku glanced up through his eyelashes and then looked away quickly. This was beginning to become ridiculous. He just wanted to go home! His ice cream and chips were waiting! A pout formed on his lips as he thought of how wrong a turn this day had taken. And then it had jumped off a cliff. With another heavy sigh, Riku turned and leaned his hip against the counter as Cloud continued to fight with the scanner.

"Sorry about this. We're running a new program through our system." Cloud looked back up as Riku looked away. "Hey... you look familiar, do I know you?"

Riku's heart skipped a beat and then began to hammer against his ribs madly. "N-no."

Cloud looked taken aback. He nodded slowly and went back to scanning the clothes. "Ok. Sorry to bother you."

Anger burned through Riku's chest at the hint of sarcasm on Cloud's voice. Riku's jaw clenched and his teeth ground together as the boy continued to have problems with the scanner. "Does your credit card thing work?" Riku tried to pitch his voice a bit higher than he would normally have sounded, and Cloud seemed to buy the poor act.

"Umm... I don't know. Let me scan in this last item, and then we'll try it out." Cloud pushed a few keys on the keyboard and went back to scanning the last shirt with infuriatingly slow progress.

When the item finally rung in, Riku ripped open the purse and quickly offered his debit card to Cloud. The blonde haired boy stared at him with an amused glint in his eyes. He took the card and slid it through the register, entering a few key commands as the computer whirred and clicked and popped.

"So, how is your day going today?"

Riku frowned at Cloud's lame attempt at small talk. "Sucks. Yours?"

Cloud smiled, a small tug at the corners of his lips, and looked over at Riku. "Same. I have to say, those barrettes are cute."

Was... Cloud... flirting with him? Riku felt his face drain and his hands and feet suddenly became cold. Oh... damn... This wasn't good. "Uh... thanks. Is it working?"

"Doesn't seem like it. Hmm..." Cloud's brow furrowed and his fingers flew over a few more keys, entering a few more commands that the computer digested and spit back out. Cloud frowned and turned to Riku. "I'm sorry. I've tried everything. Its not going to take this here. Want to try another register?"

"Uh..." Riku just wanted to go home. Thats what he really wanted. Shaking his head and held his hand out. "No." Cloud looked crest fallen as he handed the card back slowly. Geez, did this guy do everything slowly? Riku sighed and rolled his eyes at the proposal he was about to make. "Do you guys take cash?"

"Uh, yeah, of course we take cash." Cloud tilted his head to the side and gazed at Riku through his long blonde bangs.

"Then, um, I'll just go to the, uh, ATM. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. I don't want to have to do _that_ all over again." He pointed to the scanning device, earning a chuckle from the store employee, and then turned on his heel. As he walked away from the register, he shoved his card into his purse and scowled. He could just _feel_ Cloud's eyes raking over his body. Damn those moths! Damn luck! Riku grumbled and pushed past a couple of teenage girls giggling over a shirt rack. As he emerged from the store and out into the main mall building, Riku hung his head and quickly walked through the lightly packed halls towards the ATM. The damn machine just _had_ to be a two minute walk from Dillards. Riku cursed the malls creators and their children, and their children's children.

As he came out to the middle of the mall, the center where the four wings split off, he started to jog towards the small machine in the midst of the small crowd of people milling about the room.

"Geez, I've always wondered how girls can go around dressed like that." A snide, irritating female voice rose above the crowd and Riku closed his eyes as he reached the ATM. Please, God, if you love me, don't do this. Riku felt around in his purse, ignoring the snide comments from the two girls who had siddled up behind him, and pulled out his card. Sliding it quickly through the machine he strummed his finger tips on the top as it 'processed his card'.

"That skirt, I mean, where would you get something like that? Its so... Japanese school girl wanna be." A light giggle. Riku bit his lip and glared at the screen as it prompted him for his pin number.

"I wonder what guys see in girls like her. No sense of style." Riku snatched the money that popped out, shoved it into his purse and turned on his heel, his head held high as he passed the two girls sniggering at him.

"Hey! We have a few questions for you." Riku froze mid step as a thin, feminine hand fell on his shoulder. Shit, damn. His mind screamed and reeled and ran around in circles. Turning slowly, Riku narrowed his eyes, trying his best to keep his anger hidden.

"We were wondering, where did you get that skirt? Its really cute." A small lean blonde reached forward and idly ran her fingers along the edge of his skirt. Oh damn. Oh shit. Oh hell. Riku took a step back and looked around.

"I - uh, got it at... um... a store." His looked back at the girl. Her side kick came up and stood beside the blonde girl. His eyes raked up and down the brunette next to the blonde. Oh... shit. Yuffie. Riku took a deep breath and turned around quickly. "Gotta go." He started to walk away as quickly as he could, his legs taking long sweeping strides, carrying him farther and farther from the two girls.

"Hey wait! You look familiar! Hey!" Riku closed his eyes and tried to ignore the insistent calling of the girl. No, no, no. This day really couldn't sink any lower could it?

Riku started to jog, hoping to lose the girls, he dodged into a small side shop, hiding amongst the rows of candles. They followed him, but as they moved to the back of the room, Riku quickly dodged out and ran off. He was looking behind him, checking to make sure that no one was following him, when he ran into the solid wall of flesh. Riku paled and turned around, quickly apologizing to the person he'd run into.

"R-Riku?"

Riku looked up, horrified as his eyes came to rest on Sora's face. "S-Sora? Oh shit." Riku groaned and moved to go around the boy, really not into being teased just now. Especially not by his friend. Sora moved also, preventing him from any exit.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up Sora, just shut up." Riku hissed through his teeth and glanced behind him again.

"Wow... I guess you really are on the rag. I never knew." Sora's grin nearly swallowed his face whole. Riku licked his lips and shook his head.

"Please Sora. I just wanted... I'll explain - hey why are you here? I thought you were sick." Riku put his hands on his hips and glared at the younger boy.

"Uh... well I..." Sora's face paled and his trade mark pout settled over his features. Riku lifted his chin and stared down his nose at the brunette. When he started to tap his foot, Sora growled and grabbed his arm, pulling him off into a small movie store. "I'm here... meeting someone. What are you doing here? Dressed like... that?" Sora chuckled and eyed his friend critically.

"It's the only way that I could come here without being ticketed for indecent exposure. And I'm here buying clothes." Riku scowled at Sora and crossed his arms over his chest. "You lied to me about being sick?"

Sora lowered his head and stared down at his feet. "Well I... I was just... I'm really not feeling well... But... this guy... he called and asked if I'd meet him lunch." Sora glanced up, his blue eyes large and adorable through his long eyelashes. "And I mean, its not like you ever asked me to go out today. You just wanted some pants."

Riku's mouth hung open as he stared at his friend. "Some guy?" Everyone in the world knew that Sora was bi, but Riku still tried to protect him from any guys that Sora might see. He frowned and looked down at his wrist, frowning as he remembered that he had to get to Dillards. Shaking his head as Sora started to go on about how the guy was nice and Riku'd really like him, he patted the boys shoulder and took off. No time now Sora, sorry.

Riku raced along the mall, pushing through the growing crowds and darting around the small carts of random clutter for sale. He raced into Dillards and ran full speed to the clerk desk where Cloud, patient, patient Cloud, still waited. Gasping for breath, he handed over the money and leaned against the counter.

"Uh... you didn't have to run. I really didn't mind waiting." Cloud began to punch in numbers in the register and Riku grinned madly as he heard the tell tale clang of the cash drawer.

Riku stood up, and frowned at the nagging ache from his buttocks. Reaching around he grabbed hold of the panties that had lodged themselves firmly up his butt cheeks, and pulled them out with a slight snap of elastic. Sighing happily, cause this escapade was just about over, he turned back at towards Cloud. The boy was staring at him with wide blue eyes and a slight blush. Riku felt his face turn to fire. He reached out and grabbed the money that Cloud was holding out, the boy still in a daze, and grabbed the bags of clothing.

"Thanks Cloud." He turned and ran out the doors of the store as fast as he could, trying to rid his mind of the image of Clouds shocked expression. As Riku threw the bags into the car and clamored in, he realized just how funny the whole thing really was. Here he was, Riku Hakugin, dressed as a woman and running around the local mall like a mad man. All because some moths had eaten his clothing. Riku tipped his head back and laughed loudly. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he laughed and laughed. He didn't notice the person approaching his car till someone knocked on his window.

Riku jumped and turned to look out at the one who had dared to interrupt his good laugh. His face paled instantly as he saw Cloud's bright blue eyes staring in at him, a receipt pressed against the glass. Riku hesitantly rolled his window down with one hand, his other hand wiping quickly at the tears that were spilling down his cheeks.

"I thought you might like this. And uh... what's so funny? Nice car by the way."

Riku's mouth opened and closed as he reached out for the receipt that Cloud held. He snatched the piece of paper away, and began to roll up the window again, when Cloud suddenly stuck his hand through to stop him.

"Hey wait! I just... I wanted to ask you what your name was. And if... maybe you'd like to go on a date sometime."

Riku groaned and leaned back on his seat, his head falling back. This really was the worst day of his life. If Cloud knew he was a guy, he'd flip. If Cloud knew he was Riku... the poor guy would probably jump out in front of the next semi truck. When the blonde boy continued to stare in at him, a bright blush coloring his cheeks, Riku bit his lip and put on the most innocent look he could. "I'm sorry. I can't. I'm... um, taken. Yes I'm taken."

Riku's heart tore at the look that slipped over Cloud's face. The boy had always been a nervous wreck, Riku had seen that in speech class. And now, he'd finally gotten the nerve to ask out a girl, and the girl wasn't even a girl. Poor, poor, pitiful Cloud. The boy stood and nodded, patting his hand on the roof of the car.

"Alright, I understand. No biggie. Hey, you have a nice day. Maybe I'll see you round." With that, the teen turned on his heel and walked back to the store, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

Riku growled and rolled his window up quickly. As he turned on his car, he swore he'd never ever listen to Kairi ever again. Or for that matter, ever ask her for help ever again either. Riku planned on burning the damnable skirt that adorned his hips once he got home.

As he pulled into his driveway, Riku jumped out of the car before the engine had even time to die down all the way. Running into the house, he loped up the stairs and threw his new clothes on his bed, stripping from the clothes he wore and throwing those into the trash can near his door. Riku quickly threw on a pair of clean boxers, this time they were red with little black 'hot's all over, and put on a pair of jeans and a nice big comfy shirt. Heaven.

Running down the stairs, he jogged into the kitchen, his siblings sitting around the dining table eating pancakes and fruit. He grinned at them and grabbed the bag of chips from the refrigerator top, throwing the bag on the counter and then ripping open the freezer. He reached in and grabbed his brand new tub of Rock Road ice cream. After procuring a spoon, Riku ran to the TV room and set about starting up the Xbox.

When the intro to Serious Sam started to play, Riku sat back on the couch and cracked open his ice cream, delighting in the chocolate-y, marshmallow-y smell that drifted from the cardboard container. Licking his lips, he lifted off the lid, and stared in at... Oh... Hell... No.

"_MOOOOOOOM_!"


End file.
